Who knew that a half hour in a sandwich shop would make me ponder such things?

I was sitting over at the mall a few days ago eating a delicious turkey sammy for lunch and found myself staring at an elderly couple. Now, you’d probably think that I was being rude since the woman was crippled and could barely hold herself up at the table, but in fact what I was thinking about was how cute they were for being the epitome of ‘for better or worse’ and ‘in sickness and in health’. It started to make me wonder, as I sometimes do, what that feels like. That 100%, no bout a doubt it, going to be by each others sides, even if I drive you crazy, even if you’re sick and I have to take care of you, forever, no matter what kind of love. Part of me wonders if that even exists anymore… and then reality hit me over the head with a large board in the shape of my roommates. Out of the hundred something young couples I may know they have the one relationship (that I can recall at this moment) that I can’t see ending. They are not the most perfect of individuals, no one is, but they seem to be pretty perfect for each other. It’s gross.

I’ve never been one who cared or worried about being married. I never had the white dress/walking down the isle dreams when I was young. That doesn’t mean that I don’t want to share my life with someone, I just don’t feel like I need the piece of paper in order to say “You are who I want to be with”. Many arguments can be made about me saying that is all it is, but unfortunately today it has been reduced by a large percent of our population to exactly that. Just check out the divorce rate. It’s a piece of paper that holds you together no more than a puppy would. If two people both mutually want to be with one another, they will be. If someone decides to be done, then they’re done. There really isn’t any way of holding someone accountable for not following through with things they say or promise to you once they’re feelings are just… gone. Including marriage. I know countless people who have gone through relationships of all lengths in which somewhere along the lines someone just wasn’t there anymore and inevitably all of the ‘I’ll do this’ and ‘I’ll do that’ things that were said just become empty words. I’ve been on both sides of this equation and reasons vary. Shit happens, feelings change, people are scared of sharing emotions, etc. I suppose that is what makes certain relationships so special though. It’s that kind of love that I mentioned before. When you know, you know, and when you don’t know, you try your hardest anyways and stick with it.

It makes me smile when I see people who are still together in their old age like this particular couple I saw. Just imagine how many dark times they may have had in their 30, 40, or 50+ years together. On the flip side, I’m sure those times made their blue skies a little brighter. He was obviously willing to do whatever he could, even if it was a difficult task. Taking care of someone while they are physically incapable of doing so themselves is a big commitment… the kind of commitment from another person that many people unfortunately may never experience. I thought they were beautiful. Truth be told that I've actually gone there the past three days with some hope of seeing them again. It’s a bit stalkerish, I know. It was also because of the great sammys. Who knew that a half hour in a sandwich shop would make me ponder such things?

On a more humorous note, I’ve had the discussion quite a few times over the years with various people about how I think that everyone should come with a warning sign on them. Something kinda like when you buy a car... that sticker on the outside window that lets you know all about what you’re buying before you take it off the lot and it losses value. Seriously, you know it would be useful. It would go something like….

SPECIAL FEATURES:
* great sense of humor
* enjoys cuddling
* educated
* excellent cook
* does own laundry
* likes sports
* goal driven

WARNING:
* codependent tendencies
* lacks basic communication skills
* has not unpacked previous relationship baggage
* emotionally detached
* stubborn
* lengthy jail record
* drug addict
* doesn’t like ‘Ferris Buehler’s Day Off’


Naturally you would have to pick and choose your battles on importance, for no one is perfect, but at least you’ll know what you’re in for. People can then preview and make a well educated decision about whether or not they would like to take you home with them… or vice versa. You would not be allowed to create your own of course. If people were that open and honest from the get go then they wouldn’t need the stickers now would they??

Hmmm…I wonder what mine would say.