I don’t know whether to laugh or cry.

Background info: I work in the Science & Math department at my school. I’m basically there to answer questions, get the phone, sometimes tutor, and generally create a diversion/wall for the dean so she doesn’t have to listen to all the issues students have. There is a giant “X” in front of my desk where people place their milk crates and complain about everything they wish was not their fault. Sometimes the conversations I have just leave me shaking my head and I don’t know whether to laugh or cry because, unfortunately, these people are responsible for the future.

This morning’s episode stared a 20ish yr old kid inquiring about which programs he could take that required the least amount of math possible because, and I quote, “Them white teachers just be failin’ me for no reason. They won’t let any n***a in here pass. You must have that problem too, huh?” One: He was white. Two: Rude. There’s no need for that shit. Three: Uhhh, seriously dude?? Maybe he’s going through some sort of identity crisis, I don’t know. But something about the thick aroma of marijuana permeating off of him made me think it was just his high verbally puking everywhere. Especially after he followed it up with “No reason I can’t pass with a 60%”, and, “I need to get me a female teacher. They grade easy.”

And just when I thought he couldn't get any more awesome, ten minutes later I heard him having this conversation:

Him: “When I have kids I’m never going to make them do any of that exotic shit?”
Girl: “Like what?”
Him: “Like go to the mountains.”


I really feel like I owe it to society to procreate in order to level out the idiocy that people like this inflict on the world.

End hater moment.

Perhaps it’s time to dust this thing off….?

Clearly writing/blogging has not been on the top of my priority list since, well, 2008. And 2010 got the serious stiff from me. Doesn’t mean I don’t have anything to say--really, when do I NOT have SOMETHING to talk about??—just haven’t felt it in a long time. But I’m over being over it. Thankfully after seeing that about 1/4th of the 40ish peeps I’m “stalking” have been just as slackerish on their own blogging I don’t feel quite so lame.

So… this is my attempt to start writing more in 2011.
Baby steps to big blogs.
Baby steps.

Bug.

I'd be lying if I said I'd never consider the idea of moving to Alaska so I could be closer to my sister and niece. I could survive in 50 below weather in the winter, right?? It would be worth it if that meant I was able to watch this one grow up..




Every picture pulls at my heart strings, and I cry a little bit on the inside for not being closer.

Kari & Jeremy

Sunday night was my first of five weddings to attend this summer. It was a fairly small outdoor gathering of family and friends at the Robinswood House on the east side, and the weather was nice enough to hold out.... (one loud thunder clap had me nervous for a second, though).

The groom: I've only met Jeremy a hand full of times, but my interactions with him have been quite entertaining. For example, we conversed back and forth the week prior to the wedding about where he could take his bride to be/birthday girl to find an, and I quote, "inappropriately hot little dress/skirt/etc to go dancing in." His girl is hot, i cant blame him. Quite laughable, and he got a thumbs up for that one.

The bride: Ms. Kari. She looked insanely gorgeous. She comes from a long line of crafty woman, so it was no surprise to me that her big sis made all the food, and that her mother had made her dress as well as the dresses for the two flower girls. Brides tend to be a little spastic day of, but if she felt that way she kept it together quite nicely. Instead of entering into a whirlwind of hair and make-up freak outs, I walked into Kari--in jeans and a t-shirt, 30 minutes prior to go time--applying "fancies" to her niece. Cool and calm, that's how she rolls.

The camera battery was beeping at me towards the beginning of the ceremony, so I tried to save what life was left for one picture of the love birds. I snapped this shot and then it immediately died. At least I got it :)

Winter Formal - A Night of Getting Awesome

Ever have one of those moments where you stop and think to yourself....What did I do?? Yeah. I was asking myself that Saturday night at Winter Formal. I looked around throughout the course of the evening and saw everything from strip teases to people dancing with a cabbage patch doll, NKOTB groupies to the Mad Hatter and other members of his tea party. It was mayhem in its finest form, silliness in the most serious of ways, and hands down one of the best times I've had in a while. It may have even beat out last year's prom in the fun factor category. It was that great.

The photographer's pictures are up...and available here!!

These were a few of my favorites. I think they speak for themselves....

They came. They saw. They left with my heart.

For some oddball reason my sister loves living in Alaska with no running water, partial electricity, no relatively close neighbors (which at times I can understand), fifty degree below weather in the winter, and using an outhouse. My time with her is obviously limited. When summer time rolls around I’ll make my way up there, especially since Atigun was born, but for now I’ll have to settle for the extended layover mi familia decided to take in Seattle last week. It was slumber party central at my place, which basically equates to me keeping the baby awake until 3am for two days straight so I could get my time crunched love on.

I first met Atigun in August, just a few months after she was born. She has grown quite a bit since then and I must say, my niece is pretty Gerber-ish. I’m not just talking about that whole, “the perfect baby looks like blah blah Gerber blah,” she really looks like friggin Gerber on the jar. And apparently I am not the only one who thinks so, as my sister has been hearing that quite frequently.

One of my oldest, nearest, and dearest is a photographer and was able to snap some shots of the pretty girl right before they headed back home. I picked the pictures up last night and now have further evidence of my claim…



I rest my case.


We seriously need to enter her into some sort of baby food/college fund/Regis & Kelly/money winning contest.

GAWD she’s cute!!!!

Tunnels?? Really??

I am a self admitting pack-rat. I understand the urge to keep shit around.
But keeping (apparently) deadly trash....??




Hoarder Dies After Becoming Lost in Maze of His Own Trash
An eccentric loner in Britain hoarded so much trash he had to burrow through it to get around his home — then got lost in the maze of tunnels Friday and died of thirst.

Human mole Gordon Stewart, 74, had filled his rooms up to the ceiling with 10 years’ worth of garbage and clutter, making it impossible to walk around.

The compulsive hoarder is believed to have become disorientated inside the walls of rotting trash and unable to find a way out — then collapsed with dehydration.

Neighbors raised the alarm after failing to see him leave his house in Broughton, Bucks, for several days.

When cops arrived, the stench from the garbage was so foul they brought in a police diving team equipped with breathing apparatus.

It is believed they crawled around the tunnel network until they uncovered Stewart’s body.

A neighbor revealed: “A police officer said the interior was piled up with huge mounds of rotting rubbish and there was an elaborate network of tunnels to move around."

“They think Stewart may have got lost and died from dehydration.”

********************************************************

People never cease to amaze me.

A useless piece of figure skating knowledge.

It was fifteen years ago today that Nancy Kerrigan was clubbed over the knee…



…which subsequently caused her to withdraw from the '94 Olympic trials, whine her way past the USOC onto the team, bump my beloved Michelle Kwan out of Lillehammer, gain a two million dollar contract from Disney, and then bitch about winning a silver metal.

Call me heartless.
I’m just a bit bitter on the subject.
Still.

christmas tree, OHHHHHHH christmas tree.....

i don't mind that its been snowing for a week. i don't mind seeing another ten days of snow in the forecast. i don't mind feeling like i'm stuck on an island, that the buses are not running, or that i've had to use six vacation days thus far because i haven't been able to get to work.

....wait a minute. YEAH i do!!

jules and i were going to get our christmas tree last weekend but given that she doesn't drive in the snow, (which really is better for everyone), we still didn't have one as of two days ago. no bueno. considering that and the fact i get SERIOUS cabin fever --like, i almost jumped off the deck a few times from boredom-- i decided to make a tree. i gave a quick tutorial to everyone on how to make paper snowflakes, (apparently they had forgotten that from third grade... weird), i made the frame out of red wrapping paper, and wah-la.... i have a tree residing over my fire place. here is the finished product:




yeah, im that rad. at least it kept me occupied.
speaking of which, im stuck at home... again.
what to do... what to do...

Todays rundown:

I wake up, get dressed, head for the bus. Its roughly 8:45 in the AM. I stand there for over an hour and a half before a bus comes. Upon arrival the driver says he is too full. I say F it, call up the roomie, hit up Alki Café for some grub. Two buses pass by while I'm eating. Figures. Bill comes, and so does another bus. I run out, catch it, and as I hit the Admiral junction it starts snowing. I decide to go for it and head to the east side anyways. Two hours later I’m at work facing roughly 400 unread emails. I’m ready to go back home.

How I know that I’m getting older:

3) My joints hurt when it’s cold outside.

2) I no longer look at children and think “They’re cute, but I’m glad they’re not mine,” and instead I feel my ovaries scream “I want one of those!!”

1)I just spent 30 minutes planning out my Friday evening, which will now consist of making dinner for a gaggle of girls and watching Kung Foo Panda.



Tragic.

Break time!!

Fall quarter is officially over – thank cheese and everything else that is holy. Had my last final last night, and after bombing the hell out of the test I still pulled off an A. I just looked up my total GPA, and after workin out a 3.8 I realize how completely ridiculous I am... for not being satisfied with it of course. Someone slap me.

I have the next three weeks off. Whatever shall I do with myself?

The breast may be best..... but could you please leave my ice cream out of this??

A friend of mine sent me this article yesterday. At first I was mildly grossed out, then I laughed a bit, and now I just have too many questions.

After doing a little bit of Google searching I was enlightened to the fact that there are six human milk banks in the US for babies who will not/cant take formula and who’s mothers can not breast feed for various reasons. Thats for new borns, so let’s just side-step that for a moment shall we and focus in on the ridiculous amount of extra milk the women in this world would need to squeeze out just to satisfy the ice cream demands alone. I won’t even get started on cheese.

Can you imagine the production line for something like this? I mean, would there be factories? Are these women sub-contractors? Do they get medical benefits? Instead of receiving maternity leave are they forced to work over time? Do they have to provide their own pump or is there somewhere they can 'hook up'?? Are they milked by machines or is it the old fashion pulling on the utters style? If it’s the latter, I’m sure there will be a flood of male applicants. These dudes will be the first in line. I smell an HR violation in there somewhere.

I’m all for humane treatment of animals, but come on…. really?? Soon we’ll be seeing organizations pop up everywhere defending the rights of mistreated breasts.

Carol Decker

In June, while seven months pregnant, Carol Decker went into the emergency room with a fever over 103 degrees. Within an hour she was given an emergency C-section, was immediately put into an induced coma, and was eventually diagnosed with a septic pneumonia infection. All of her major organs began to fail, her skin literally boiled, and her blood began to clot in an abnormal manor. The doctors eventually had no choice but to amputate both of her legs and her left arm. She is now also blind, but alive.

With the use of prosthetics, and severe physical therapy, Carol is expected to one day be able to walk and play with her children again. Unfortunately, it will have a cost. Literally. Within the last three months alone Carol’s medical bills have surpassed $2 million dollars, and they continue to grow. She is expected to be returning home next week, but extensive rehab is needed, which among other things are not covered by her insurance.

Carol is the sister of one of my best friends, a wife, a mother of two baby girls, a beautiful individual, a fighter, and a member of a family who loves and supports her to no end. This family is now in need of help. Please take a moment to read her story, leave a message, and contribute in any possible way that you can to her recovery.

Carol’s husband, Scott, has been keeping a blog to update friends and family about her progress:

http://sccsdecker.blogspot.com/


If you would like to make a contribution to Carol and her family, you may do so at any Washington Mutual Bank under the ‘Benevolent account for Scott C Decker FBO, Carol J Decker and Safiya Decker’. This information can also be found within this blog posting:

http://sccsdecker.blogspot.com/2008/06/update-to-account-information.html


Komo 4 news aired a story about this last night on the 11 o’clock broadcast. If you care to read the story or watch the video, it can be seen here:

http://www.komonews.com/news/28125714.html

GAWD shes cute!!!

My sister, Elizabeth, is taking a month long tour around the country to show the baby off. Her first stop was my house!! This past weekend I finally got to meet Atigun and I could not possibly be more excited about having this little girl in my life forever.

I'll spare you from the hundred plus variations of the same five or six pictures and show you just a few of them...

She looks a lot like my sister in this picture...

Meeting of the minds here folks. Jules discovered that when she said "BOOOOOOOBIES" that Atigun would laugh. Go figure.

OOOOOOOR not......

I also raided Elizabeth's laptop and jacked a disk full of pics and out of all of them I fell in love with this one for some reason...

Both E & A will be back at the end of the month before returning to Alaska, so I'll get to spend another day with both of them. Im sure by then the babes will be twice as big as she was just a few days ago. She needs to knock that off.

NBA Finals = A Happy Martha

Allow me to admit something - Every NBA Championship Finals that the Lakers have been a part of I have cheered for them…. until now.



Now that we've got that out of the way…


You either love him, or hate him, but no matter which it is for you there is no denying KB's usual domination on the court. On average he's 45% percent from the floor, and can generally get away with comments about how he can 'manage' a game from a distance and then turn things back on whenever he so pleases because, well, we believe he can. We've seen him do it. He is without a doubt one of the most talented players ever. Cocky or not, it's the truth. It's been said that when he wants to make a basket, he will, that no one can guard him, and that he is one of the greatest closers. That very well may be true, but all its making me want to do right now is stand up and give Boston some props.

Game one he shot 9-26, and last night he was just 11-23. Ouch. In the four losses to Boston this season, Bryant is just 35-of-93 from the field. Call it 'bad looks' if you'd like, I'll call it good defense. Give credit when due, and the Celtics have figured out how to stop the 'unstoppable' man. Brav-friggin-o!!

Yes, Kobe helped close Boston's 24 point lead down to 2 during the last 5 minutes of the game, but seriously, good job on getting that far behind in the first place. LA fans, go ahead and pick at that one. I know you're dying too. And to the Celtics, DON'T F'IN BLOW LEADS LIKE THAT!! I'm too young to have a heart attack and things like that are not helping. Plain and simple, Boston got too comfortable.

Moving along…

Last week on ESPN's website a group of sports nuts/experts listed five factors they thought were going to play majors rolls in this series. Number one was Kobe Bryant. No surprise there. Number five was each team's bench. Let's take a look at those good'ole bench warmers shall we??

The Lakers may have multiple decades worth of experience on their bench, but they have yet to put up high contributing stats. With a few of their key players in early foul trouble, Jackson sent second string guys in to play during the second quarter… you know, when Boston first started pulling ahead!? And they were the favored ones.

The Celtics on the other hand have had multiple contributors. PJ Brown has done an outstanding job in the wake of Perkins hurting his ankle, and Powe, who played a measly 15 minutes in last nights game, shot 6-7 from the floor, and got to the line 13 times. THIRTEEN TIMES!! That was more than the entire Lakers team shot the whole game. Give that man the T-Mobile player of the game!! He deserved it. Had I remembered the number the one time they flashed it on screen I would have sent a text or two for him as well.

So maybe the Celtic team is young, and yeah they have been doing fairly shitty in the playoffs in comparison to how they 'should' have been playing considering their regular season record. Everyone 'should' have been a breeze. You know what I have to say about that?? They still won! They STILL made it to the Finals. They are a group of guys who have never played on a team together, most of them have never been to the Finals before, and on a team that hasn't been there since the 80's… and right now they're kicking the Lakers' ass!! Rajon Rondo's total of 16 assists was the highest for any player in a Finals game since Magic Johnson in 1991. They had 31 assists on 36 FGs last night to give them the highest percentage for any of Boston's 118 Finals games ever. Not bad for some inexperienced babies don't you think?

Now, I am fully aware that the Lakers are 8-0 in the postseason at home, and that they've won 14 in a row there as well, and yada yada… but they have also never overcome a 2-0 deficit in the Finals, while Boston is 7-0 all time when holding a 2-0 series lead. I'm just thanking everything that is holy they won yesterdays game because having to win all 3 in LA would have been a *bitch*. Home court definitely plays a big factor, (and I believe it was either 3rd or 4th in that list), and naturally I can't expect Boston to take the next two games, and I doubt they will. I'm an optimist but a realist at the same time. That being said, I'm going to go with my original prediction of Celtics in 6 games… and then they'll get to celebrate at home. Won't that be nice??

Lakers cheerleaders – go ahead and hate away. Just know that whatever happens I'm stoked we have a great match up to watch this year. ALLELUIA!! That makes me a happy girl.

Atigun, meet the Internet… Internet, this is Atigun.

I’m in love and wanted to share some of the first pictures I have seen of my niece, Atigun Ophelia Swan…






Last night I popped in an old video of my family from when we were on a local SoCal talk show back in the mid-80s, (story for another time), and reality slapped me across the face. My big sister that was sitting next to me, who at the time was only 6 years old, is now a mother. Little weird, (slightly aging), but pretty awesome.

I am not sure when I will be able to meet this newest addition to my family, but I am looking forward to it and I’m sure when I finally do I’ll ball like a little girl.


Life is good.

When was the last time you danced?

Every afternoon when I was a little girl I would pull my Mickey Mouse record player into the living room, throw on some Michael Jackson (who I was TOTALLY in love with), stick my arms straight out and run around in circles while being completely convinced that I was the best dancer in the world. I didn’t care if my mom walked in and saw me, I hoped she would so I could show off a bit. Nothing made me happier. For years I said to myself, “When I grow up I want to be a dancer”. Although that did not happen I still fancy a corner of the dance floor from time to time.

Lately I have been living vicariously through the peeps on America’s Best Dance Crew. GO JABBAWOCKEEZ!!!!!..... they of course are much better dancers than I am but I get this little twitch in my shoulders and boogie in my butt while I watch them perform. It’s all sorts of awesome. There was another show a few years back, something ridiculous on MTV with Wade Whatshisface where in the final round he would quickly teach two contestants some choreography and they’d compete in head to head combat... it was super cereal and kind of dumb but I watched it anyways. There was a certain move one time on an episode that was kind of the dopeness that I decided to give a whirl. I was having one of those ‘no one is watching me so I’m rockstaring it up in the mirror with a comb microphone’ moments… only I was in the kitchen doing the dishes and looking mildly goofy while my roommate, unbeknownst to myself, was watching the whole time. Sometimes being embarrassed can cause healthy fits of giggles. I’m sure she had a few. My job there was done.

A few days ago while getting my hair did in CK’s salon our friend Natasha’s younger brother decided to teach us some ultra fantasmica dance crazes. I really hope that everyone walking past stopped to take a gander at our ridiculousness, but I wouldn’t know even if they did because I was too busy doing the Cupid and Superman. Side note: I would be perfectly ok with never hearing Soulja Boy ever again but something makes me a slightly happier now that I know the dance….. “watch me crank and watch me ROLLLLL”. *ahem*

If you’ve known me for a long time then you are aware that there was a point in life when you would never see me anywhere other than on the dance floor and it was extremely difficult to drag me away from it. There are still those nights when it is pointless to try and talk to me because I am too busy twirling around and acting silly. I am sorry if I step on you and will apologize in a few hours when I realize that I have broken your toe with my stomping (Dac, you know what I mean). Everyone should have these evenings…. minus the damaged appendages.

No, dip shit. You’re on a boat in the middle of a lake.

During the boat cruise on Friday night there were two separate instances when people came up just to give me a random hug and I replied with “Oh, are you leaving?!?”

I am pretty awesome.

Other worthy notables of proof:
1) I purchased a Whispers two disk greatest hits album on Saturday afternoon..
2) and Huey Lewis and the News…
3) then I went home to watch Step Up 2… and LOVED it!!

Hungry?

Now, this may look like a taste little morsel, but Im curious as to how many people in this world, when hungry, immediately think "Oh man, I wish I had a Snickers bar right now". It may satisfy the sweet tooth, but curb the hunger?? I'm a bit skeptical.

Last night officially marked the end of dodgeball for the season. My team is retiring until fall so we can go play outside instead of being cooped up in a smelly gymnasium.... which is fine by me because KICKBALL STARTS IN TWO WEEKS!!!!! (yes!!)

Two years ago I threw a boat party and all of the proceeds went to my roomies to help pay for their wedding. It may just be in my top ten list of fantasmica evenings. I am throwing another one on the same boat tomorrow night and it is making me realize how quickly time can pass you by. It was apparently so quick that I even put on the flyer that the first party happened last summer (oops). I really was convinced that it had only been one year. Two years from now I wonder what I will look back and have forgotten *shrugs*. Ginkgo anyone?? But anyways, it got me thinking about all of the people who were there last time(especially you, Tara), how many of them have moved away (again T, I'm calling you out), how many people have been married since, changed careers, had babies, bought houses, and so on.... and it's making me wish that I could just get every single person that I know and stick them on that damn boat again so we could have another night together laughing and dancing around like idiots. Chances are most of them will be, but Im a little sad that a few others will not. I'll just have to keep them in thought.

Is it the weekend yet?? GEEZ.